Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
