good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
