Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
