Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
