I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
My ATM looks so different sober.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
