he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
