i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
stop calling my apartment porn island.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
