Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
i need some magic done to my vagina
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
