But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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