she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize
