I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
