How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
