Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
