My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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