I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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