fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
