How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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