Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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