If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
