God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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