I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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