When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
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