her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
