i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
