No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
