Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
