we're blogging at a bar
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Mom said you looked used
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
