I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
