This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
