Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
