I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
