You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
