New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
