careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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