My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
