That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
