I like my sex mixed with concussions.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Liz is crying about burritos again.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
