If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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