dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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