Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
