how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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