You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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