so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
