Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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