just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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