I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
