How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
