Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
