Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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