tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
