just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
