It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
